Wintergirls...

"Smoke gunpowder and go to school to jump through hoops, sit up and beg, and roll over on command. Listen to the whispers that curl into your head at night, calling you ugly and fat and stupid and bitch and whore, and worst of all, a disappointment. Puke and starve and cut and drink because you don't want to feel any of this. Puke and starve and drink and cut because you need the anesthetic and it works.

For a while.

But then the anesthetic turns into poison and by then its to late because you are mainlining it now, straight into your soul. It is rotting you and you cant stop."

Why would anyone want this?

Yesterday

 Yesterday, i watched Akeelah and the Bee (haha). Near the end, this quote was spoken:

"We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" 

 

Straight out of Nelson Mandela's speech, I thought it was beautiful and wanted to share it with all of you guys(:

 

I hope all of you lovelies have been doing well!

Live.

Doesn't everyone have all of those "I wish..." moments? Like I wish that I would just do what I love, I wish I could just drive without looking at a map, I wish I could just be carefree? The thing is, what is really holding us back? There are so many things I want to just do without actually thinking...like road tripping to California, as an example. But life is short, why don't we just go for what we love? Honestly, what is really holding us back? This is something I have been wondering for a while now. I know that with my ED, I hold back from lot's of things...dinners with friends; going to places where, GASP, food might be present; dealing with self-esteem issues that come with my eating disorder and so on and so forth. I just want to start living. Like this picture below, I want that to be me.

What about yall? What are your dreams, that you just want to do but you hold back?

(Th)Inspiration

Yesterday, I went on a rampage of looking at thinspiration-here were some of my faves for you to enjoy!

GOD BLESS AMERICA

oakldfjaklfjlkaf freaking out!!!!!!!! 
this picture is so touching, the firefighters' in times square 's reactions to the news(:

Shit.

Today, my friends are coming home from school for Easter weekend. And tonight, were going out to dinner. Shit. I hate being put in this situation. How am I going to NOT eat in front of them, they'll all question me. And I can't not go, it's all my best friends and I just can't turn this down.

Secondly, my mom has noticed my weight loss. Today, she told me to "make sure that I eat." Uh...okay....apparently I'm "looking skinny and bony." Alright, not gonna lie, I take that as a compliment. I don't think I look skinny, but okay! But now I'm gonna be monitered...eeek.

Lastly, the dreaded holiday. Easter. This Sunday. Fuck. Easter=a shitload of chocolate (my weakness) along with Easter dinner. Which will be all my favorite foods, my mom already informed me. So great, I'll be binging all day long, feeling like shit about myself, then spending all night over the toilet purging until I can't. Purging chocolate sucks. Happy fucking Easter.

Eh, I can't leave this post on such a pessimistic note. On one hand, Easter is a great holiday. It's super sweet that my family will be able to celebrate together, and I'm sure it'll be a fun day. And yes, I am very excited to see all my friends again this weekend.

Anyways, here's some thinspo to finish off this cray cray posting. Have a fabulous day, bitches(: